Baby Tye

 

Cheesy smile!  Ha ha!  I was just so excited to finally hold him :)

Baby Tye is finally here!  My friend Yvonne had her baby boy Monday and of course I rushed to Tomball as soon as I could to go and see them.  He is so adorable.  When I was holding him I was in amazement at how tiny he felt and I couldn't even remember Korbyn ever being that tiny!  He was 7 lbs. 6 oz. and 20" born at 12:44 pm.  So they were very close in weight and length.  I have to give Yvonne props because she made it to a 6 (I think) before getting her epidural...ouch.  I called her right before I left to make sure that I could bring Korbyn into the room.  They said usually they don't allow anyone under 16 but because she was so small it was ok as long as she wasn't sick with anything.  She was at daycare that day so I made sure to clean her off and change her clothes before we went, just in case.  We got there around 5:30 and Korbyn was supposed to eat at 4:30 so I knew she was going to be hungry so I made her a 4 oz. bottle right away (which is what she usually drinks).  Well she sucked that down and she was really fussy right after and wouldn't stop crying so I stepped out of the room because I didn't want to disturb anyone else and she burped and was a little better but kept crying.  A couple of the nurses came over and were doting on her and they kind of lowered their voices and asked "do you need formula for her?"  I was so embarrassed!  I feed my baby...can't you tell!  So I politely thanked them and said no and immediately went back in the room and decided to give her another ounce.  She sucked that down, so I continued to make an ounce at a time and gave it to her and when she was finally satisfied she had drank 8 ounces!!!!  She has never had that much at one time and she never even spit up, she was just super hungry.  We left the hospital around 7:30 and I drove a couple of minutes and she started fussing again!  I knew she wasn't hungry or tired and then I realized that I forgot to change her diaper before we left the hospital!!!  She hadn't been changed since around 3:30!  So I had to pull over in an HEB parking lot and change her, just wet thankfully, and she was good to go.  It's days like that that make me feel like an awful parent!  People probably think I starve my baby and let her go with wet diapers on all the time.  I don't, I really really don't!  It was just a hectic day!!!

Brrr...

It's been crazy cold!  But I have to say, it was really pretty :)

 The steps that lead down from our porch were icy and every time Rocky would run back up onto the porch he looked hilarious because his big, gangly legs were sliding all over the place!

 After waking up from a nice long nap with mommy.  Last Friday we closed the daycare because of the weather so we got to hang out all day.

 So pretty.

 This is after we came home from Cutter's house, we went over for the super bowl and never even watched a second of the game!  We hung out outside and enjoyed the weather...for a little while because it got nasty and windy by the time we were about to head home.

Watching the morning news before we head off to school!  She looks so serious.

3 months

WOW!  I can't believe that Korbyn will be three months old tomorrow.  It literally seems like we came home just a couple of weeks ago.  Time is really starting to fly by, not just with her but in general.  I'm going to be 24 in a few weeks!  I know that technically that's not old, but I can just remember when I was younger and thinking that 25 was ancient.

She is developing so much now and is just becoming a blast to be with.  She has definitely found her voice.  She is always cooing or squealing now.  Even in her bath she's doing more.  She used to just sit in the tub and kind of smile but now when I say "go go go!" she'll get this excited look on her face and just start kicking and waving her arms and she starts splashing so much that water is going everywhere!  It cracks me up!

 This is after we came home from daycare.  She's definitely going to be a chunk!  She's already got the rolls on her legs :)  We've also been getting told that she's starting to look like her mommy more, yay for me!  I still think she looks A LOT like her daddy, but I'm starting to see more of myself in her.

HA!  I just couldn't resist putting this on here.  I had to take Rocky to the vet the other day, which means I had to go get Colton's truck because he can't fit in my car.  And I took Pixie with me, well I have no idea what she was doing buy I look over at her and that's how she's sitting!  She sat there for a long time...that crazy dog.

First laugh!

I don't know if you can see the picture very well.  But it's our chicken roosting on our table on our front porch.  I honestly can't believe that Pearl is still with us!  I named her Pearl a while back ago :)  We got six chickens I think almost two years ago and one by one they got picked off by either dogs or coyotes and she has been the only one left for a VERY long time.  It's so funny because we have even given this chicken away to my brother and his wife who have probably over a dozen chickens who they coop up and let out occassionally.  Well the first time they let the chickens out Pearl is right back in our yard again!  And then she'll disappear for weeks at a time and we'll think that she finally got eaten by something and then there she is again...right on our front porch!  We don't give her food or water so I really don't even know why she hangs around.  It just blows my mind that she's still alive!!!

Korbyn laughed for the first time Wednesday night!  It was probably a one time thing, but it was definitely a real laugh.  I was getting her ready for her bath and I had just finished taking her temperature, which she also likes but I'll explain later.  I bent down to reach for a cotton ball in the drawer that was underneath her to clean the thermometer and I popped up real fast and I noticed that it startled her and she squealed so I bent down again and I said "boo" when I came back up real fast and she laughed!!!  I did it again and she laughed again!  So I yelled to Colton that she was laughing and he came in the bathroom and of course she never did it again, just smiled real big.

So here lately Korbyn has had to have her temperature taken a lot because of the rsv, and of course we check it rectally. The first time she went to the dr. she was so tiny and so mad that she had to be undressed that she was screaming anyway when they took her temp.  But ever since then she always smiles so big when they stick that thermometer up her rear!  When we go to the dr. she's usually sleeping when we go to weigh her and they always tell me "well she'll get a rude awakening here in a second."  I tell them "oh no she won't" and sure enough when they stick it in her bottom she just continues to sleep or if she was already awake she'll give them a big smile!  The nurses tell me that they have NEVER seen a baby not scream or squirm when they get their temp. taken rectally.  And she even does it at home.  But I think it's just because when I'm about to take it I get her attention and try to make her smile and put her in a good mood, so maybe she just associates it with being happy.  Who knows...but it's kinda weird :)

Pictures

Waiting for dad after church, he had a meeting that lasted over an hour!  But thankfully she was happy the entire time.

 This is right before we went to the dr. to find out that we had rsv :(  But...still happy!  Look at that big pot belly lol!  She weighed 12 lbs. at the dr.!!!  But, she had her clothes on.  Still...she was only 11 two weeks ago!

 She has basically been living next to the humidifier.  It puts out a really good mist, so much that her seat feels wet after a while, but I know it helps her and she doesn't seem to mind it.

It's so funny seeing such a little person sitting up like that!  She's still very wobbly in her bumbo, but she can stay up in it and she likes to sit in it and look around.

RSV

Whatever we woke up with the other day, I thought it was just allergies, has now turned into rsv for poor Korbyn!  It's awful!

Wednesday evening when I was picking her up out of her room at the daycare I noticed she had a little cough, nothing major since she had so much snot and congestion the entire week.  But when we got home it turned into this tight, nasty sounding cough which I knew was NOT normal.  I took her to the dr. on Thursday just because we have so much stuff going around the daycare and with the weekend coming up I just wanted to get her checked out.  Sure enough the dr. said she has rsv!  We weren't able to see her dr. but at that point I didn't care I just wanted someone to see her that day.  He said that there's nothing they can do, just let it run its course and by the weekend you should start to notice her getting slightly better, and if anything changes or if she gets worse to bring her back in. 

Colton has been gone all week again for work.  He came back Friday evening and then had to leave again Sunday afternoon :(  AND he was on call for this weekend!  Of course he gets called out right away Saturday morning and has to leave for a job.  Not 30 minutes after he leaves I'm on the phone with the nurse because ever since she woke up her breathing was so fast and shallow and she was having a coughing attack every 5 minutes and she just puked up her whole bottle because of all the coughing.  The nurse scared the crap out of me.  I was explaining to her what she had been having and that we went to the dr. Thursday and so on.  She immediately sounded worried and asked if she was running any fever.  I told her that she hasn't been because I've been checking it constantly but let me go check it.  She had 99.1, which I considered nothing.  As soon as I told the nurse that she said "how far away are you from the Today Care?" (Scott and White's walk in clinic) I told her that we're an hour away and she said "no, go to the nearest ER now!  This is an emergent situation"  I panicked and said but we're an hour away from that too!  She said to get her there as fast as we can.  So I'm trying to hold back the tears and I call my mom and ask if she can go with me.  She comes to the house and we're headed to Bryan.  But thankfully my mom, who always has a level head on her shoulders, calmed me down and reassured me that she's breathing fine and she thinks we should just go to the Today Care.  Luckily we were in and out of there in less than 2 hours, and if we would have gone to the ER we would have probably still been in the waiting room!  The dr. looked at her and said she definitely has rsv and that she's going to get worse before she gets better and that she could be like this for a week.  But as long as she's not running fever and breathing ok, she should be fine.

Well last night I panicked again because the first dr. told me that if her breathing gets above 70 breaths a minute that she's having too hard of a time breathing.  Well I counted and she was breathing almost 90!  And I swore that above her lips it looked like it was turning blue, but Colton looked at her and he didn't think they were.  The nasty coughing I can handle, but her breathing makes me so nervous!  Then all she wanted to do was sleep.  She slept pretty much the past two days.  The only time she would cry was when she would start coughing really hard or when she was hungry, and even then she never even opened her eyes.  Poor baby.

Colton was already in bed last night when I told him that I was just going to sleep on the recliner with Korbyn so I could keep her upright.  Thankfully he said that he would come sleep on the couch with me so I wouldn't have to be by myself :)  I put the humidifier right next to us and she slept so soundly...I didn't, but at least she did.  I think she only coughed three times the entire night!  As soon as we woke up and I got her away from the humidifier she started having coughing attacks again.  So I'm keeping her next to it as much as I can and it really helps her.  She still coughs but it's not nearly as bad.  So hopefully my little booger will get better soon because I hate that she's sick and not feeling good.

PPD

So apparently after talking to people who read this blog I seemed to have scared some of them! 

A while ago I posted about the "baby blues" and was talking about how on some days I didn't even feel like doing any of it etc.  Well that was just scratching the surface.  I know some people might think it's inappropriate for me to talk about it, but postpartum depression IS real and I got a taste of it.

Up until about three weeks ago I was really depressed.  And the scary thing about it is I didn't even realize it until I came out of it.  When I went to my follow-up appointment my dr. was asking me questions about how I was feeling and she asked about any depression and I started telling her how I was feeling and some of the thoughts that were going through my mind and so on.  When I finished talking my dr. and my mom (she came along to help with Korbyn) were both just kind of staring at me.  My dr. finally said "you should have really called us."  My mom told the dr. that she had no idea that I was feeling any of this because I can apparently put on a pretty good act and I hid it very well. 

The thing was is that I thought I HAD to hide it to stay sane.  I felt so disconnected from Korbyn those entire first two months.  I was thinking things like, "I don't want to take care of her," or "ugh, why did I have this baby" and I felt like she totally and completely ruined my life.  Then later I would feel immense guilt for even having thought or feel that way and I would just get even more depressed.  And the scary thing is is that if someone asked how we were doing during that time I would tell them "oh, everything is great!" but I felt like I had to let people know that we were ok and I couldn't let anyone know how I really felt, I didn't even talk to Colton about it because I was so ashamed for having those feelings.  I know it sounds so awful for someone to think that way about their baby but that's what ppd is and it's horrible.

BUT TRUST ME, WE'RE ALL GOOD NOW!  It's indescribable the way I feel about her now.  I now have this incredible bond with her and I will literally scratch someone's eyes out if they harm a hair on my baby!  But looking back on those first two months I didn't feel that way at all.  I guess we really didn't have that instant bond and connection that so many people talk about.  And that was another thing that would make me feel guilty.  I had this huge expectation before she was born that no matter how tired or hard it got I would have my baby and my baby would have me and I'll do anything for her and it'll all be rainbows and glitter!  Wrong! 

So I guess the whole point of me talking about it is first of all a little healing process for me, just getting it off my chest and out in the open.  And I also wanted to let those people know that yes, I wasn't myself for a while even though I tried to act like it and yes, life is getting a little closer to constant rainbows and glitter :)