My job

As I'm sure you're all aware I'm the director of Martin Luther dayschool in Giddings (and have a fabulous assistant Jennifer!!!).  I personally struggle with myself all the time about working here, let me explain.  I LOVE MY JOB...seriously.  I love this job because I get to hang around kids all day, I love that when I walk into the 3 year old room they all come running and give me a hug and some even tell me that they love me or they miss me (even though I may have seen them yesterday!).  I love that it is so flexible, if I have to leave for anything during the day I can, or if I have to take off an entire day for something I know that I have a reliable person with me in the office and I can call her to fill in.  I love handling all the dilemmas that arise throughout the day, I don't like the big stressful ones of course but I like that EVERY day is different and EVERY day is challenging, we rarely sit here and twiddle our thumbs.  I'm sure you're thinking this is the perfect job and that I don't have any complaints...HA!  I could go on and on about the things I don't like, like the pay or the lack of benefits or the unnecessary drama that arises with the parents or the employees or having everyone watch your every move, but I won't (just know that there are some).

I've always said that anyone who can afford to stay home with their children, go for it!  I think it's a wonderful opportunity if you are financially able.  But I've also always preached that once your family is not financially able to do so, then you should really consider finding a job to help support your family to make sure their basic needs are met and taken care of.  This is a personal opinion and anyone can completely disagree with me or have their own opinion entirely, I'm just stating what I personally believe.  So obviously my favorite thing about working here is that I will be able to take our baby girl (still no name!) to work with me on the days that I do work, and yet will still have some days during the week where I can spend quality time with her at home (I know those days will probably consist of me cleaning and picking up, but it's nice to think about!).  I am planning to breastfeed for at least the first year, so whenever she needs to eat I can just walk to her room and feed her.  Or if she gets sick I can just take her home without having to ask to take off for my sick child.  And, I get discounted child care!  Not much, but it will help.  I do feel really fortunate that this job fell into my lap a year ago because of the flexibility and because I can take our child with me to work.  But...at the same time I kick myself every day because I'm not doing what I'm passionate about and what I went to school for.  I know that it's very rare that what you get a degree in is what you'll actually end up doing, but I want so much to become a counselor or psychologist.  And I know that one day I may be able to achieve it, but I hate having that nasty feeling in my gut when I think about what I could be doing with my life.  And of course if I actually went into my field of interest I could be making triple of what I'm bringing home now, but that means that I would have to drive at least an hour every day for work and I would have to leave my baby.  I hate feeling like this, and I'm sure once the baby comes it will be much clearer what I want to do :)  I keep telling myself that where Colton and I are right now in our lives, it's the perfect job, but I will practice what I preach and if it just becomes too tight financially for us I will definitely be looking for a full-time job.

Kicking me

For the past couple of days I've been able to feel her move inside of me...AMAZING!  It puts a huge smile on my face every single time I feel her.  I was getting frustrated (not worried) there for a little bit because I just wanted to feel her move and I would feel something and then stop and say "ok, now was that just my stomach or was that her?" but now there is NO question as to what it is.  It's a very unique feeling, very indescribable.  I don't feel it a whole lot during the day yet, just every once in a while, but when I lay down at night, o my goodness...she goes to town!  Last night I layed down in bed and Colton was already in there watching tv and I said "man she is moving a lot" well of course he wanted to see if he could feel it, so I put his hand on my belly where she was moving and I told him that he probably won't be able to feel anything for a couple more weeks yet, so don't be disappointed if you can't.  It only took a couple of seconds when I felt her move and we both looked at each other at the same time and he said "was that her!?" I was so surprised that he was able to feel it I was like "ya!  You felt that?!"  It was so exciting!!!  So, little baby girl Coates...June 20th was the first time your daddy felt you move inside mommy :)  It's amazing how much I love this little girl already, I can't imagine what it's going to feel like when she's finally here!

I didn't have any photos on this computer yet so I wanted to get some imported, but when I was going through them I came across these two pictures and I started laughing!  We took the bottom one back in February and the top one was only taken four months later!  Pixie and Rocky have both grown so much, but to Colton and I they don't seem like they've gotten any bigger.  Poor Rocky had to go get his 1 year shots this morning (can you believe that mammoth is only one year?!) well actually mommy is a little behind, he is actually almost a year and a half, the vet actually said he is overweight!  He said that he should weigh approximately 100 pounds, and he is at 129!  Poor baby is gonna have to go on a diet.  Pixie is a year and a half too, but our vet in Giddings doesn't have her shot records because she's never seen them before.  We used to take them to LaGrange and I absolutely LOVED that vet, but we took Rocky there when he was younger to get his ears cropped and ever since then he won't even get out of the car when we pull up, so we had to find another vet.  Colton and I were talking one time if we would ever get ears cropped on another dog...although Rocky's turned out 100% perfect, that is actually very rare, we have known people who have spent the money and the time and did everything they were supposed to do, and they don't even stand up.  So we got really lucky with his, but honestly I don't think I could do it again.  First of all I wanted to cry the day that I picked him up (he had to stay overnight), he looked so miserable and pathetic with those bandages on his ears :(  And I know he was in horrible pain, we had to rub the scabs on his ears at least 2x a day with neosporin...awful.  He would whine everytime we had to do it, it broke my heart!  They are both really sweet dogs (these are actually my first dogs) and I think we are extrememly lucky to have both of them, but do I ever want another dog, or two for that matter, in the house?  Hell no.  I know I don't work full time but it is ridiculous having to keep up after two dogs and a husband, and then myself!  I love their company and I would be devestated if anything ever happened to either one of them but as of right now I can honestly say that I will never have another dog in the house...right now :)

My fear of labor

I'm not sure of how many people know that I have an extrememly low pain tolerance.  For instance, something that may just feel a bit uncomfortable to Colton may feel excruciating to me.  I don't know if I just have really sensitive skin or what, but I've been like that my entire life.  So naturally when I hear the phrase "labor and delivery" I feel like curling up into a ball and I want to immediately call my doctor and tell her I want a planned c-section!!!  The fact that I know I will (possibly) have some serious pain coming really stresses me out.  Well the other day I was off of work and I was flipping through the channel guide and I saw "birth day" was playing on TLC.  So I thought "Oh, I can finally watch these shows and relate to them!"  So this lady was just sitting up in bed and she was laughing and talking and having a grand ol' time, well they decided to break her water and hopefully she would progress in a matter of hours...not 15 minutes later they were rushing her to the delivery room because those babies (she was pregnant with twins!) were on their way out!  The poor thing was just talking about how she wanted an epidural when the time came to give her one, well they never had a chance to give it to her and she had to deliver them naturally!!!  And I don't know if you've ever watched these shows but they show everything!  This woman (I don't think she had a husband/boyfriend because nobody was in there with her except the nurses) was screaming and crying like she was dying!  She had tears streaming down her face and had a death grip on the nurse's entire arm and she was yelling at her "I don't want to bite you but I feel like I want to!"  I was sitting on the couch with my mouth just hanging open watching the entire thing thinking, "omg, if that happens to me I don't think I'll make it, I think I'll pass out or something."  It was the most terrifying thing I've watched in a very long time!  So of course as soon as Colton came home I told him all about it and I made him promise me that they will give me something BEFORE I go into labor!

Name game

Picking out a name for an unborn child is too hard!  It would be so much easier if we could see her and then I would know exactly what to call her :)  I told Colton that I liked the name Ainsley, and he of course said no way.  But for the last week or so I have been calling her that, like the other day I sent him a text that said "hurry up and come home, me and Ainsley miss you!"  He would respond by just saying, "I don't know who you're talking about."  Well yesterday at work a girl asked me if we had any names picked and I mentioned that I liked the name Ainsley, she said "what?" (like she couldn't understand me), and I had to say it to her like 3 times!  At that moment I knew I didn't want to name her that.  I am not going to give my child a name where every time she has to say it she'll have to repeat herself or always hear "now how do you spell that?"  Colton likes the name Korbyn...I do too I just feel like it's becoming too popular right now (with boys and girls), and I never wanted a name that she would have to share with half her class.  Of course we are going to carry on the name Ruth for a middle name.  It is my maternal grandma's middle name, my paternal grandma's first name, Colton's grandma's middle name and my middle name so it literally hits on all sides of all the families which I think is really cool...and hey, those old names are making a comeback! :)

First Baby Pics!

So I know that these are difficult to see, but our printer at home doesn't work with our new computer (sometimes I get so frustrated with technology!  Why can't they just make everything compatible!!!) so I had to scan them in at work and didn't have time to crop and re-size all of them.  I thought they turned out really clear!  Colton thinks she has a ginormous head and hands...but we'll have to see.  I think when I saw these pictures of her and was able to see her moving around on the monitor it became extremely real to me that this little person is actually growing inside of me.  It's still kind of surreal, but definitely more exciting!

Exciting news!

I've never blogged before but when we found out we were going to be having a baby I decided that I would try it out. My sister-in-law Jana has a blog about her two girls and I love to read it as often as I can because although we live almost 2 hours away, I feel like I know the girls very personally and I get to stay caught up with their lives and I want to be able to do that for other people as well. So...we'll see how it goes.

Well today was the big day! We found out this afternoon that Colton and I are expecting a little girl! We thought we were going to have to leave the appointment without being able to find out what it was because the little booger wouldn't sit still...man she is a mover! When the lady (I don't know what they're called) finally was able to tell what it was she said "yep, it's a girl." Colton's first words out of his mouth were "awww man." I whipped around and said "COLTON" but I knew he was kidding and so was I. I know he wanted a boy so bad, but we'll just have to wait to see what the next one will be :) I think he is more nervous about having a girl, he kept saying "I don't know anything about them...I was raised with two brothers!" So right after the appointment we went to Once Upon A Child. The first time we passed it and Colton realized it was a second-hand store he kept on driving!!! He said "my daughter is not going to have anything used" (sorry my dear, but we haven't hit the lottery yet). We finally went inside and he immediately saw all the (cheap) outfits for little girls and started picking some out. I've never been to that store, but i think it's my new favorite! We got SO many outfits for like $3 a piece! I know some people may think that it's kind of gross or weird to buy clothes that have been used by people they don't know, but I think it's the best idea EVER. Kids grow out of their clothes so fast that I can't wrap my head around spending $20 on an outfit they will wear once. So anyway, now I can't wait for her to get here so we can dress her up! We also have the daunting task of picking out a name. I remember thinking that picking a name for my child would be so easy...but man it's hard! Especially when you have to get two people to agree on one name. So that is what we're working on for now.