Saturday, January 25, 2014
Friday, January 24, 2014
Fall
Monday night I was getting the girls ready for a bath. I undress and dress Evan on the bathroom counter, just like I did with Korbyn when she was a baby. I have a thick towel folded where I lay her and of course never leave her there by herself. The counter is right next to the toilet. I was standing in front of Evan playing with her waiting for Korbyn to get undressed. I turn my body for a second to lift Korbyn onto the toilet and as I do I hear a "thud." I immediately know before turning around what happened. I look on the counter and Evan wasn't there, I look down and she's laying face down on the floor crying. I just stand there and start screaming at the top of my lungs and can't even move my body. Colton comes running into the bathroom and picks her up immediately. I've lost it. I'm shaking and sobbing and screaming.
We immediately start getting ready to go to the emergency room. I call my mom and she comes to our house to watch Korbyn. By now Evan has stopped crying and she seems to be fine, just sleepy but it was her bed time so we weren't concerned about her falling asleep. I of course am a mess. At one point Colton looked at me and said "Abby, you've got to get it together!" I couldn't. I felt like the absolute scum of the earth, worst mother of the century award right here! I felt like I was going to vomit. My mom was telling me that I fell out of a shopping cart and I was just fine and that it happens all the time. Even the nurses and the doctors were telling me that it happens all the time. In my head I knew that this happens all of the time, but no one can prepare you for when it happens to your baby.
Once we get in the car I call the hospital where we delivered and tell them the situation and ask if they're equipped for pediatrics or if we should head to Dell Children's in Austin. The nurse told me that they do and to head this way. A few minutes later my phone rings and it's the emergency nurse I just spoke with. She called us back and gave the phone to the charge nurse. He told me that they will gladly take a look at her but for her age and the height of the fall it was considered a trauma and she needs to be taken to a trauma hospital and that we may want to call an ambulance to meet us. When I hang up the phone I lose it again. Having someone actually tell me that my infant falling was considered a trauma was too much. Colton turned on his flashers and drove about 85 while I was shaking in the back seat next to Evan all the way there.
Once we get in the hospital we get triaged within a few minutes, even though the waiting room was so full we couldn't even find a place to sit. They take us back to do a CT scan almost immediately. Having to strap my baby down and watch her from behind a glass door in a separate room while she was in a huge room all by herself was torture (I'm actually crying right now as I'm writing about it!). Well wouldn't you know this little girl was talking and cooing the entire time. Even before she was done with the CT scan the x-ray technician was waiting to walk us across the hall. They had Colton wear a lead vest and help hold her down with a tech while another one took the x-rays. She didn't like that. She started crying, the poor thing had had enough. They take us back to our room and we just wait. I'm sure it was only about 10 minutes but at the time I swear we were in there for an hour. The doctor came in and said everything looks great. We needed to watch her closely for 24 hours and wake her every two hours but we could go home and she was going to be OK. When the doctor walked out Colton let out a huge sigh and bent over and put his hands on his knees and just sat there. I finally asked him if he was alright. He said "I'm not going to lie. I was worried as hell but knew I had to keep it together for you." This is why I love this man. Even though I may be going crazy he is my rock, always has and always will. Needless to say I will NEVER place her on the bathroom counter again or any other surface where she could even possibly roll off! That was an awful experience and hope I never have to go through that again.
We immediately start getting ready to go to the emergency room. I call my mom and she comes to our house to watch Korbyn. By now Evan has stopped crying and she seems to be fine, just sleepy but it was her bed time so we weren't concerned about her falling asleep. I of course am a mess. At one point Colton looked at me and said "Abby, you've got to get it together!" I couldn't. I felt like the absolute scum of the earth, worst mother of the century award right here! I felt like I was going to vomit. My mom was telling me that I fell out of a shopping cart and I was just fine and that it happens all the time. Even the nurses and the doctors were telling me that it happens all the time. In my head I knew that this happens all of the time, but no one can prepare you for when it happens to your baby.
Once we get in the car I call the hospital where we delivered and tell them the situation and ask if they're equipped for pediatrics or if we should head to Dell Children's in Austin. The nurse told me that they do and to head this way. A few minutes later my phone rings and it's the emergency nurse I just spoke with. She called us back and gave the phone to the charge nurse. He told me that they will gladly take a look at her but for her age and the height of the fall it was considered a trauma and she needs to be taken to a trauma hospital and that we may want to call an ambulance to meet us. When I hang up the phone I lose it again. Having someone actually tell me that my infant falling was considered a trauma was too much. Colton turned on his flashers and drove about 85 while I was shaking in the back seat next to Evan all the way there.
Once we get in the hospital we get triaged within a few minutes, even though the waiting room was so full we couldn't even find a place to sit. They take us back to do a CT scan almost immediately. Having to strap my baby down and watch her from behind a glass door in a separate room while she was in a huge room all by herself was torture (I'm actually crying right now as I'm writing about it!). Well wouldn't you know this little girl was talking and cooing the entire time. Even before she was done with the CT scan the x-ray technician was waiting to walk us across the hall. They had Colton wear a lead vest and help hold her down with a tech while another one took the x-rays. She didn't like that. She started crying, the poor thing had had enough. They take us back to our room and we just wait. I'm sure it was only about 10 minutes but at the time I swear we were in there for an hour. The doctor came in and said everything looks great. We needed to watch her closely for 24 hours and wake her every two hours but we could go home and she was going to be OK. When the doctor walked out Colton let out a huge sigh and bent over and put his hands on his knees and just sat there. I finally asked him if he was alright. He said "I'm not going to lie. I was worried as hell but knew I had to keep it together for you." This is why I love this man. Even though I may be going crazy he is my rock, always has and always will. Needless to say I will NEVER place her on the bathroom counter again or any other surface where she could even possibly roll off! That was an awful experience and hope I never have to go through that again.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Life with a full time job and two kids
Exhausted. That's what its like.
My day starts at 4:45 a.m. and is literally nonstop until 9 p.m. The absolutely only time I have to myself is my conference period from 10:35-11:35 each day. And that's usually filled with contacting parents, meetings, or getting things ready in my classroom. But the days that I don't have anything for that hour is sweet bliss!
I'm writing this post because one day in the far future I want to read it and remember how tired and worn out I felt every day. I also want my kids to read it and know how hard Colton and I worked for them. I'm sure when I look back I'll say to myself "it wasn't that bad." But now...right now...I feel like I can't keep my head above water! It's madness! But I kind of like it.
My day is filled with children ALL DAY. If you've ever been around kids you know that they're exhausting. I now have 20 kindergartners who keep me on my toes all day. I'm still not sure how I ended up with all of these lovely (but oh so challenging) kids. A normal classroom has one or two desks that are separated from the rest of the class because those desks belong to kids who can't keep their hands to themselves, get too distracted by everything going on etc. Well I have six of those desks, that's right...SIX. I feel like the majority of the day I'm just trying to keep them in order, but I guess that's kindergarten. I do know that they're much better since I've been back. I've had multiple unannounced sit ins from the vice principal and principal this week to check up on them. They've told me that I'm doing a great job and the class looks SO much better. So that makes me feel awesome of course!
I do feel a little guilt for not being able to spend all day with my own babies though. I don't get to spend much time with them during the week, only a few hours in the evening. But somehow it makes the time that I do spend with them so much more special. My house is an absolute wreck, and I don't even care. I'm on the verge of hiring someone to come in and keep it clean and picked up because it's just that bad. When I'm home, all of my attention is given to my kids and that will NEVER change.
I keep my mom's words in my head constantly, "this time of your life is crunch time, but it won't last forever."
My day starts at 4:45 a.m. and is literally nonstop until 9 p.m. The absolutely only time I have to myself is my conference period from 10:35-11:35 each day. And that's usually filled with contacting parents, meetings, or getting things ready in my classroom. But the days that I don't have anything for that hour is sweet bliss!
I'm writing this post because one day in the far future I want to read it and remember how tired and worn out I felt every day. I also want my kids to read it and know how hard Colton and I worked for them. I'm sure when I look back I'll say to myself "it wasn't that bad." But now...right now...I feel like I can't keep my head above water! It's madness! But I kind of like it.
My day is filled with children ALL DAY. If you've ever been around kids you know that they're exhausting. I now have 20 kindergartners who keep me on my toes all day. I'm still not sure how I ended up with all of these lovely (but oh so challenging) kids. A normal classroom has one or two desks that are separated from the rest of the class because those desks belong to kids who can't keep their hands to themselves, get too distracted by everything going on etc. Well I have six of those desks, that's right...SIX. I feel like the majority of the day I'm just trying to keep them in order, but I guess that's kindergarten. I do know that they're much better since I've been back. I've had multiple unannounced sit ins from the vice principal and principal this week to check up on them. They've told me that I'm doing a great job and the class looks SO much better. So that makes me feel awesome of course!
I do feel a little guilt for not being able to spend all day with my own babies though. I don't get to spend much time with them during the week, only a few hours in the evening. But somehow it makes the time that I do spend with them so much more special. My house is an absolute wreck, and I don't even care. I'm on the verge of hiring someone to come in and keep it clean and picked up because it's just that bad. When I'm home, all of my attention is given to my kids and that will NEVER change.
I keep my mom's words in my head constantly, "this time of your life is crunch time, but it won't last forever."
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