Mommy marks

Yes, I now have stretch marks.  I don't like to call them that though, it just sounds so ugly, so they're my "mommy marks."  The other night I had just gotten out of the shower and I was looking at them in the mirror and it just really hit me like a ton of bricks that these are going to be with me for the rest of my life and it seems like I get a new one everyday and my body will never be the same again.  It just overwhelmed me so I plopped into bed with Colton and just started crying!  He had NO idea what was going on, poor thing.  So I told him why I was upset and of course he didn't really know how to comfort me so I just told him to hold me and don't say anything!  After a while he was like "babe, it will be totally worth it and I don't care that you have them."  Which did make me feel a little better, but it still is just really upsetting.  And I have no idea why I'm acting like this!  This is really unlike me to care so much about some stretch marks, sorry, mommy marks, but I think it's just the fact that I'm changing and I can't do anything about it.  Oh man, I wonder what I'll go through when I have a mid-life crisis!

Tomorrow I have a dr.'s appointment so I'll be posting how that goes.  Monday will be the start of my 35th week already!  And no, we still don't have everything we need to be ready for her.  I did start packing her a little bag and slowly getting things ready for what I'll need to be taking to the hospital.  Her carseat actually just arrived yesterday and is still in the box!  And we don't have a few other essentials yet either.  I told Colton that we should have kept it a secret as to what gender we were having because I've noticed that when people are preparing for a boy or they never find out what they're having they seem to get a lot more of the essential things they need for the baby, but when people have girls they get a lot of cute clothes and stuff like that.  Not that we don't appreciate everything that everyone has given her (trust me, we appreciate every little thing VERY much!), just an observation :)

One night last week I was trying to get stuff in her room organized and put away and Colton came in and we sat down and just started talking about all things baby and he said "what if it's a boy?"  I looked around the room at her yellow walls, her pink curtains, her floral bedding and said "I would probably cry."  Not that I would be disappointed if it was a boy, but we would literally have to start ALL OVER!  Of course this little comment brought on another strange dream.  I dreamt that we had just brought her home and we were changing her first diaper and I look down and she has a penis!!!  We had already gotten her ears pierced and everything, so I was like "oh no, we have to take her earings out."  Like that would really be my first concern!  Please oh please let it be a girl in there.